Lines, Lines...

"Lines, lines, Everywhere a line, blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind..." Oh, is that "Signs?"

Monday morning, we set out for the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. Wendy had again obtained tickets online ahead of time, so we had a time (11:15) to be at the security check-in at Battery Park. We found the right subway route to get within about two blocks, and we were some minutes early. Here was a victory: the line for those who had purchased tickets that day appeared to be an hour long, while ours was only 15-20 minutes. Again, we went through airport-like security (except my shoes stayed on), then boarded the ferry and waited fifteen minutes while everyone else got on. The trip to Bedloe's Island took about ten minutes, and getting off the boat took ten more. Our tickets allowed us to enter the Memorial (the base of the statue and its museum), another victory, but that line took twenty minutes to get into the security line - this was where folks, including an entire summer program group of thirty kids, found out their tickets weren't for the Memorial - and another half-hour or more to go through that line (yes, probably the most rigorous security line of all, with GE puffers in the scanner and the whole nine yards).

The museum is excellent, with actual-size replicas of a foot and a nose and the original torch, and very good history and structural information about the construction. You may know that the face is modeled after the sculptor Bartholdi's mother, and that the skin is hung on a framework designed by Eiffel, who also designed the eponymous tower in Paris. Elevators, or stairs (88 degrees? Arthritis? Hell, no!) take you to an observation deck at the top of the 84-foot pedestal, itself the result of a heated design contest in the 1880's, and through glass plates you can "look up the skirt of a national monument" (Fodor's) to see the framework and the ladder that once took folks to the top of the statue. Views from the deck show the Financial District of Manhattan, Liberty State Park in New Jersey, port activities on all sides, Governor's Island off Brooklyn, and Ellis Island nearby.

We came out, did a lap of the outer walk, and made our way to the ferry dock for the next leg, to Ellis Island. This line took about half an hour, as most folks got off for the Statue and the ferry could take lots of people. The trip took just a few minutes, but boarding and debarking took longer.

Ellis Island is a remarkable place, and a remarkable exhibit. Blessings on those who decided to save it and develop this wonderful look into our heritage and national psyche. Exhibits range from films and live shows to photo exhibits and displays of things carried by immigrants (donated by their families) and things left behind, as well as some of the old equipment and the buildings themselves. One line of my family has been here since the mid 1600's, and others were in the Midwest by the mid 19th century, so this is not as close for me as for many, but Ellis made the urgency, the difficulty, and the hope seem palpable. How much more so for folks who know their ancestors actually came through there!

It was the heat that was palpable as we waited to board the ferry back to Battery Park. That, and the line abuse by about a third of those waiting, and the fact that not so many got off the ferries as it was late in the afternoon, so not so many got on - wow! part of the immigrant experience! We got on the second boat, just barely, after about an hour waiting. Again, the voyage itself was less than fifteen minutes, and the debarking took only ten or so. We were back in Battery Park, at the lower tip of Manhattan, at about 5:00.

TIP: Here's the "critics' opinion." Everyone should go to the Statue of Liberty, and get into the Memorial (Statue base, etc.). Once. You probably don't need to go back ever again. It's cool, but the excessive security line snuffs much of the pleasure out of it.

TIP: Everyone should go to Ellis Island. The earlier, the better. If you go more than once, skip the Statue of Liberty on subsequent trips and go straight to Ellis. Go as often and stay as long as it takes to see and absorb this moving story of human striving. I'm a jaded old whitebread coot and I need to go again.

From 11:00, when we arrived at Battery Park, to a little after 5:00, when we got off the ferry, we spent almost exactly half of the time, three hours, standing in one line or another. One hour at the Statue, one and a half at Ellis, half an hour on the water...

TIP: Be prepared. Take water. Drink it, as you can't take it some places. Buy more, especially if it's hot. Pee whenever the opportunity presents itself. Wear a hat that protects you from sun - or rain, as the lines aren't all going to be covered. Use sunscreen on most days. If for some reason you're staying in New Jersey, book your ferry passage from there as those boats were half-full.

In Battery Park, Laura bumped into a classmate from the U. of Minnesota; this enabled the other young lady to collect a $100 bet from her family as the first to meet someone she knew. We tried to get a bus but ended up on the subway back to the hotel. Dinner was up for discussion but we ate at the hotel's restaurant.

The Cafe Edison, in what was once the ballroom, is known as the "Polish Tea Room," receives regular mention in guides as a good deal for the money, and offers typical deli fare: corned beef, pastrami, brisket, and similar dishes. We were hot, tired, and thinking of making our show, and the convenience of dining at the hotel probably made things taste better, but the matzoh ball soup and the pastrami were excellent, and this was the site of the cheapest served beer. Oddly, the restaurant required pre-approval of charges to the room, and didn't take credit cards, but we had packed enough cash and all was well.

After a chance to spritz in our room, and change out of sodden apparel into something less sweaty, we left for the Theatre. Yeah, Broadway. We (Wendy again, bless her little Internet-based heart) had found a show that wasn't dark on Mondays, and it was two blocks from the hotel.

The John Golden Theatre is small, a few hundred seats, but it's lovely. The musical, "Avenue Q," won the Tony for Best Musical a few years back. It's a hoot: people and Muppet-like puppets interact, often rudely or other R-ratedly. The very first line is "What do you do with a BA in English?" (Ross's degree, a step up from mine which is Liberal Arts no major). One of the characters is "Gary Coleman," who is just that: a washed-up former child star who is now the super of a lousy set of apartment buildings in an un-named borough. I especially enjoyed "Trekkie Monster," who led the song, "The internet is for Porn," and who saves the day in the end. We all enjoyed "the Bad Idea Bears," who tried to deliver fun but feeble thinking to the main characters. And you do need to see puppet sex. This may not be the moment to recall the night that Gail Stefl's mother threw me out of their house because Gail and I made too much noise (loud drunken laughter) while trying to mate a Barbie and a troll doll. Puppets in the play are carried by the actors who voice them, and the choreography involves intricacies of handing these puppets off for actors who handle multiple roles. It all comes together into a fun time, even for me who finds little pleasure in live performance and less in musicals. I almost bought the souvenir T-shirt, "It sucks to be me," which is the big opening musical number. Any Broadway ticket is by definition too expensive but, once you can get past that, it's fun to see stuff done right by professionals.

We enjoyed seeing other plays advertised: Taylor Hicks in "Grease" (Laura posed bythe poster with her finger down her throat), "Legally Blonde," Tom Wopat ("who's that?" "He was in the Dukes of Hazzard on TV, I think he was Luke Duke but I'm not sure") in "A Catered Affair," across from our hotel. Stephen Collins, an actor with a bit of a stick up his ass, taking the King Arthur role in "Spamalot," in which he ought to be perfect (we saw this on tour in Minneapolis so I can speak with at least a minimum of insight). Morgan Freeman. Rene Auberjonois. Sean Hayes. New plays Old plays in revival. Lawrence Fishburne as "Thurgood," which should be important and fun in a way but which none of us voted for, except a bit of interest from Ross. Daniel Radcliffe ("Harry Potter") in Equus, naked!

After-theatre, we went to the Shubert Alley location of Junior's, purveyor of one of the legendary cheesecakes. As it was Monday, with most theatres dark, there was NO LINE. I now know how the legend grew: just like my waistband. I took on the Devil's Food cheesecake, a normal-sized slice of Original surrounded by at least as much chocolate. I gave a valiant battle, but I couldn't get much help as Laura fell before the strawberry shortcake slice, and Wendy and Ross killed their shared Original but weren't able to help much beyond that. I violated all known Porter rules on chocolate by leaving a bit behind. Three slices, and a couple of beverages, cost as much as most of our dinners. It was time to waddle back to the hotel. Golly, this is enough for three or four of these blog things!